There’s something to be learned from the last thought before you close your eyes to go to sleep. Who is it? What is it about? I often believe that it’s this last thought that tells me a lot about what’s important to me at any given time in my life. You can learn a lot from what comes to mind when you see the word “HIM” or “IT” written on your mental billboard. Sometimes I question why it is that these things are important to me, what makes these things so special anyways?
A little over a year ago I had been thrown out by my parents with no financial backing or clue as to where I wanted to go in life. I was scared and I was hurt. For an entire year I didn’t even have my own bed. During this time of turmoil, you would think that what would be important would be the security of knowing where I was going, yet oddly the opposite was true. It was not security of where I was headed that got be through the year, because to be honest I had no clue until the last few months of 2013. So how did I go an entire year without losing my sanity?
A long series of unfortunate events in my life has given me the knowledge that if I mainly relied on the security of knowing where I was going, I would be unhappy for the rest of my life. If there’s anything you can be certain of in life it’s that things will never go as you want them to and there is never one set path that life will take you, expecting anything else would be foolish. Once you remove any uncertainty from the equation there is only one variable that remains constant no matter what. The people who will walk with you whatever path life eventually gives you. It’s these people that I invested in, I invested in friends, significant others, and oddly enough family.
I’m now at a point where uncertainty excites me, I’m not afraid of the unknown, not because I have the means and determination to make it happen, everyone has that, but because I know now that I don’t have to face it alone. There’s an extremely freeing feeling of just letting go of everything and knowing that although the world is a very uncertain place, not everything has to be. I know that whatever happens, at the end of day, I have surrounded myself with people that always be there for me no matter what. It’s these people and these things that often occupy my thoughts just before I fall asleep, and I suppose that’s why they’re so special to me. Yes, it requires determination and hard work to get to where you want to be, but without these people you walk any path, happy or sad, alone. Things will go wrong, and the world will hurt you, but you cannot rely on the certainty of knowing what path you will take as much as who you will walk it with. It’s all part of the adventure.